For I Am Seme!
by YamiMisao
Summary: The yami’s, Yami, Bakura and Marik have a very interesting argument over who the Seme is in their relationship. Seeing as how all three of them aren’t very submissive, there aren’t going uke without a fight! YYxYBxYM
1. For I Am Seme!

**Pairing: **Yami Yuugi x Yami Bakura x Yami Malik (Yamishipping)

**Summary:** The yami's, Yami, Bakura and Marik have a very interesting argument over who the Seme is in their relationship. Seeing as how all three of them aren't very submissive, there aren't going uke without a fight.

**Warnings:** Yaoi (guy/guy relationships), language, and any other warning you could have for an argument over who gets to be on top.

**For I am Seme!**

Somewhere far, far away in a place called Domino City, located _somewhere _in Japan, lived three yami's. Three very psychotic yami's. But in all actuality and if we were to get technical about it, we would say two psychotic yami's and one that somehow manages to stay sane after living with aforementioned psychotic yami's for so long.

Said three yami's had been living with each other for quite a while now, 5 months at least. Since their hikari's were together, the light's had moved into Malik's house, while the yami's all moved into Ryou's now ex-house. Since his father was never home, and paid them bills from where he was, Ryou figured it wouldn't hurt to let the yami's live there as long as they didn't burn it down.

But all of that is besides the point.

After living with each other for 5 months, and being together for over 7 months, the yami's had just now decided to argue over a, in their opinion, very important and very serious subject. A subject which would effect each of them, and could very well effect those around them because not all 3 of them would be happy with the final decision. And when a yami wasn't happy, it, 99 percent of the time meant living hell for all of those around them. This life changing subject was...

...Who got to be Seme.

Now not everyone would think this argument was at all a big deal. One would also think that it should be obvious; the most submissive would be uke, the more dominant one seme, and whoever was left got the middle. But in this case it was not so easy.

This reason being that one of the people in this 'relationship' was once a Pharaoh, 3000 years ago. As a pharaoh he once ruled an entire country therefore he has a sense of leadership and a dominating personality.

Another person in this odd threesome is a 3000 year old Tomb Robber. As a Tomb Robber and a Thief, he is not used to being dependent, and if he were to be uke, he would be just that. And after growing up alone after watching his village be slaughtered and then being trapped in the Sennen Ring for 3000 years, he also has a dominating personality.

And last but not least, the third member of this trio is a shadow-born psycho created from the hate and anger his hikari had towards his father at the age of 10. There's not much to say about him other then he, as well as the aforementioned Tomb Robber, is quite violent, unstable and just plain crazy. Unlike the other two, he doesn't have a reason for being dominant, he just is!

So now here they were, Yami the Pharaoh, Bakura the Tomb Robber and Marik the Insane Shadow-Born Psycho, in their living room after being together for 7 months, having the argument they probably should have had when they _began_ the relationship.

"I am Pharaoh! Therefore I am Seme!" Yami yelled indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared unfalteringly at the other two yami's. Marik was laying across the couch lazily, getting quite tired of this argument that had been going on for the past hour. It was clear, in his mind, that HE was the most dominant of the three, and once his mind was set on something, that was how it was going to be.

Bakura, on the other hand, was standing across the room from Yami, glaring levelly at the pharaoh, not about to give up on this fight. In HIS mind, much like Marik's, HE was Seme and THAT was how it was going to be and stay. Or so he thought.

"Yeah right Pharaoh, you couldn't _handle_ dominating over me AND Marik." Bakura snorted, but smirked at the very amusing thought of Yami being on top. That was a real laugh right there.

From the couch, Marik snickered, "Pff, like _either_ of you could ever dominate over _me._ I am Seme, end of discussion. Yami, go fix some dinner dammit! I'm hungry!"

Bakura turned his glare over to Marik, who had his eyes closed and couldn't see it. Not that it mattered, cause even if he could he'd just ignore it, "What are you talking about Marik? I AM SEME!"

Yami stomped his foot on the ground childishly, "I'm the pharaoh here! I have the leadership qualities and the dominating personality to be Seme!" He argued.

Marik opened one eye to look at Yami and smirked, "Well I'm A, more sadistic. The sadistic ones are so much more dominating. B, I'm stronger then both of you, and C, I'm taller!"

Yami raised an eyebrow at him, "Height has nothing to do with it! I ruled a freaking country! It takes MAD dominating skills to rule a whole fucking country dammit!"

Marik snorted and closed his eye again, " Key word there _Pharaoh_; RULED, as in Past-tense."

"Besides Pharaoh," Bakura, who was now sitting in the chair spoke up, "When you think about it, you ARE the most submissive out of the three of us."

"And I can easily get you both under me, therefore I am Seme. Okay? Okay. Now go fix dinner!" Marik demanded, thinking he had won the argument. Little did he know it was far from over.

"Fix your own damn dinner you lazy ass! Now you see that! YOUR being dependant on ME to fix YOU food, therefore_ I _should be Seme" Yami growled, plopping down in the chair. Well, he _would_ have landed in the chair had Bakura not already been occupying it, therefore he landed on the thief's lap.

Bakura wrapped his arms around Yami's waste and rested his chin on the pharaoh's shoulder, "Um, Yami, it's usually the Uke that cooks. Cause you know, in a normal relationship, the husband is the Seme, and the Wife is the Uke, and the wife cooks. So what does that tell you, hmm?" He asked, smirking all the while.

"Bakura," Yami said in a serious tone, causing Bakura to raise an eyebrow, "Tell me, is this by any means a _normal_ relationship?" He asked.

"Well, no. But the fact still remains that your more submissive." Bakura pointed out, gently nipping at the exposed flesh of Yami's neck, causing the former pharaoh to melt back into the thiefs arms, "You see? Look at you, you just scream Uke!" Bakura said.

"Oh, like you have any room to talk." Marik spoke up. Both Yami and Bakura looked up to see that Marik was now up and heading towards them. He smirked down at Bakura, "You act the same way when I ravish you, and don't bother to deny it. I know it, you know it and Yami knows it."

"Hey, you do to!" Bakura argued, "And you know, I know, and Yami knows that I am so much more dominant that you!"

Silence.

Marik raised a questioning eyebrow at Yami, who gave him a look that clearly said 'wishful thinking on Bakura's part'. He suddenly smirked, "Hey Yami, get up for a minute so I can show Bakura just who the dominant one here is."

Yami gladly complied, wanting Marik to prove Bakura wrong. And when that was all said and done, he could prove to them that HE was dominant. So it would go, Yami as Seme, Marik in the Middle, and Bakura as Uke. Yes, he liked that plan.

Bakura's eyes widened and he tried to get up and away from Marik, but it seemed he was too slow and Marik grabbed him around the waist and pulled him into his lap. Bakura struggled a bit and even looked at Yami, silently pleading for help. But said Pharaoh, being the nice person he was, just smirked and waved at the Tomb Robber, then sat on the couch across from them, ready to see the show.

Marik buried his face into Bakura's snowy white hair and smirked feeling Bakura tense. He then pushed the thief's hair to the side and ran his tongue along the smooth exposed skin, feeling the tomb robber shudder against him. He wrapped him arms tighter around the thief's waist and abruptly bit into his neck, drawing a small amount of blood and earning a startled gasp from Bakura. Very slowly, teasingly, he ran his tongue over the wound, effectively cleaning it of blood and causing Bakura to groan and melt back into his arms.

All the while Yami sat across from them, staring at his two lovers and almost drooling. He was just barely resisting the urge to jump over there and rip their clothes off. It was always a complete turn-on when those two were ravishing each other, it usually involved blood, and after spending 7 months with those two, it no longer bothered him. Hell, he'd had his fair share of biting and being bitten. For some odd reason blood plus Marik and Bakura was just really arousing.

Marik had turned Bakura around so that he was straddling his lap and nipped playfully at Bakura's lower lip. Bakura moaned again as Marik slowly moved one of his hands between their bodies and slipped his fingers down into Bakura's jeans. Marik brought up his other hand and slipped it under Bakura's shirt, running his fingers down the thief's chest, "Marik...more.. please...Oh Ra..." he begged in a very Un-Bakura-like way, pushing himself further against Marik.

All of the sudden he stopped and stood up, catching Bakura before he fell on his ass and set the slightly dazed thief back in the chair, smirking triumphantly, "There, I have proven my point. You, my little thief, are quite submissive."

Bakura glared at Marik, "Hey! You can't do that!" He yelled, though to Marik it sounded more like a whine.

"It seems I just did. Hey Yami, didn't I just have him over here begging for more? That seems pretty uke-ish to me!" Marik called over to Yami, who stood up and walked over to the two.

"Yes, I believe you did." Yami agreed, snickering at Bakura's pouting.

Suddenly, Bakura smirked at Yami, "Well, at least I'm more dominant then you. And Marik is my witness."

Marik nodded, "Yup. So you see, I should be Seme, Yami uke, and our dear thief here gets to be in the middle!"

Bakura looked thoughtful for a moment before shrugging, "That works, at least I get to dominate over the pharaoh!"

Marik smirked, "Good. Now that that's settled, I'm damn hungry! Yami! Go fix us di-"

"I am Pharaoh! I am NO UKE!" Yami screeched at them.

Marik shrugged, "You are now." He said simply and Bakura nodded in agreement.

Yami pouted, "This isn't fair! I didn't agree to that! Does my opinion not matter to either of you?" He feigned a hurt look.

"It's not that your opinion doesn't _matter_ to us Yami, it's just that me and Marik have finally reached an agreement, and so it's two against one now. So the odds are kind of against you." Bakura explained.

"I refuse to be uke." Yami said bluntly, crossing his arms.

Marik sighed and walked over to him and dragged Yami over to the couch where he sat down and pulled him down into his lap, and Bakura sat down next to them, leaning against Marik's shoulder. Marik made yami sit sideways on his lap so that he was leaning against his shoulder and his legs were laying across both his and Bakura's lap.

"Come on Yami, it's not that big of a deal." Marik said, but this caused both Yami and Bakura to raise skeptical eyebrows. If it wasn't 'that big of a deal' then why the HELL did they spend the last two hours arguing over it?

Yami just crossed his arms again childishly and looked the other way. They sat there in silence for a good 5 minutes until Bakura suddenly spoke up, "Hey, I have an idea! How about we ask our hikari's! I mean, we'll base the whole seme-uke thing on them, and we'll take whatever roll our hikari's have!"

Yami and Marik stared at him.

Silence.

More Silence.

Bakura rolled his eyes and huffed, "Fine. But I don't see you two coming up with any better idea's."

After 5 MORE minutes, Yami said, "Actually, that's not a bad idea."

They both looked at him skeptically. They both already knew who was what in their hikari's relationship, hence the reason Bakura suggested it, and they knew the Pharaoh wouldn't be to happy with the outcome. But hell, if he agreed to it, it was his fault!

Marik smirked and gave Yami a chaste kiss, "Are you sure?" Yami nodded.

"I'll go get the phone!" Bakura yelled and disappeared into the kitchen, reappearing a whole 10 seconds later. He sat back down next to Yami and Marik and quickly dialed the number to Malik's house, then decided to let Marik talk to his slightly unstable hikari.

"_Who are you and what the hell do you want?" _Malik yelled.

Marik smirked at his hikari's actions. They must have...interrupted something for him to be all pissed like that, "Hey Malik."

"_Oh...hi yami. What do you want?"_ Came the oh-so enthusiastic reply.

"Well, Yami, Bakura and I have spent the last 2 hours arguing over who's Seme." He explained.

"_Aww, damn! Why didn't you call me? Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear that argument! It had to be funny as hell!" _Malik whined.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you've been waiting about 7 months. Anyways, we need to know who's Seme and who's Uke in your relationship with Ryou and the midget." Marik said, getting smacked in the head by Yami.

"_I hope Yami slapped you for that comment. Anyways, I'm Seme, of course. I mean, seriously, could you see Ryou or Yuugi on top? Ra, that's really funny! Anyways, Yuugi's uke and Ryou's in the middle, right where we like him!"_

"Well, he said he's Seme, Ryou's in the middle and Yuugi's uke." Marik told the other two.

"What? Let me talk to him!" Yami yelled and grabbed the phone, "Malik! Let me talk to my hikari!"

"_Damn pharaoh, I don't think he'd appreciate you deafening me..." _He mumbled before yelling, "_Yuugi! Get your fine little ass down here! Yami wants to bitch at you!" _There a distant yell, then, "_No you can't wait until Ryou finishes licking all the chocolate off of you! Get down here now!"_

Yami's eyes widened, "Ryou's licking chocolate off my hikari?" He screeched. Marik and Bakura just exchanged glanced, then burst out laughing.

A few minutes later and, "_Hello? Yami?_" Came Yuugi's voice.

"Hikari, why is Bakura's hikari _licking_ chocolate off you?"

"_Umm...because it was there? And...umm... because chocolate is good. And to get it off me?...Umm..."_

"Never mind. So tell me, who's Uke?"

"_Oh, I am. Malik's Seme and Ryou's in the middle! Just where we like him!"_

"What? But...but now I have to be uke!" Yami whined.

"_Sorry Yami..."_ Yuugi said, then rudely hung up.

Yami threw the phone down and pouted. Marik put his chin on Yami's shoulder and smirked, "Sorry Yami, Pharaoh or not, you could never dominate over me or Bakura!" Marik said.

"It's because we're short..." Yami mumbled.

And for the rest of the night they had wild, hot sex. With Marik on top, Yami on the bottom, and Bakura in the middle, just where they liked him!

And no, they never made a show called "Yami's Gone Wild." Even though that has nothing to do with anything.


	2. Alternate Ending!

**Pairing: **Yami Yuugi x Yami Bakura x Yami Malik (Yamishipping)

**Summary:** Alternate Ending!

**Warnings:** Yaoi (guy/guy relationships), language, and any other warning you could have for an argument over who gets to be on top.

**For I Am Seme!**

**! Alternate Ending !**

"Come on Yami, it's not that big of a deal." Marik said, but this caused both Yami and Bakura to raise skeptical eyebrows. If it wasn't 'that big of a deal' then why the HELL did they spend the last two hours arguing over it?

Yami just crossed his arms again childishly and looked the other way. They sat there in silence for a good 5 minutes until Bakura suddenly spoke up, "Hey, I have an idea! How about we ask our hikari's! I mean, we'll base the whole seme-uke thing on them, and we'll take whatever roll our hikari's have!"

Yami and Marik stared at him.

Silence.

More Silence.

Bakura rolled his eyes and huffed, "Fine. But I don't see you two coming up with any better idea's."

After 5 MORE minutes, Yami said, "Actually, that's not a bad idea."

They both looked at him skeptically. They both already knew who was what in their hikari's relationship, hence the reason Bakura suggested it, and they knew the Pharaoh wouldn't be to happy with the outcome. But hell, if he agreed to it, it was his fault!

Marik smirked and gave Yami a chaste kiss, "Are you sure?" Yami nodded.

"I'll go get the phone!" Bakura yelled and disappeared into the kitchen, reappearing a whole 10 seconds later. He sat back down next to Yami and Marik and quickly dialed the number to Malik's house, then decided to let Marik talk to his slightly unstable hikari.

"_Who are you and what the hell do you want?" _Malik yelled.

Marik smirked at his hikari's actions. They must have...interrupted something for him to be all pissed like that, "Hey Malik."

_"Oh...hi yami. What do you want?"_ Came the oh-so enthusiastic reply.

"Well, Yami, Bakura and I have spent the last 2 hours arguing over who's Seme." He explained.

_"Aww, damn! Why didn't you call me? Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear that argument! It had to be funny as hell!" _Malik whined.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you've been waiting about 7 months. Anyways, we need to know who's Seme and who's Uke in your relationship with Ryou and the midget." Marik said, getting smacked in the head by Yami.

"_I hope Yami slapped you for that comment. Anyways, I'm Seme, of course. I mean, seriously, could you see Ryou or Yuugi on top? Ra, that's really funny...Shut up Yuugi!... I don't want to hear a comment from you on that matter!...Anyways, Yuugi's in the middle and Ryou's uke, just the way we like him!"_

"Well, he said he's Seme, Ryou's uke and Yuugi's in the middle." Marik told the other two, then mumbled, "How the hell did Yuugi end up in the middle?..."

"YES!" Yami laughed, "HA! I told you! I am Pharaoh! I am no uke!" He yelled in triumph.

"What? Ryou LIED to me! He said Yuugi was uke!" Bakura yelled and grabbed the phone, "Malik! Let me talk to my hikari right now dammit!"

_"Damn Bakura, I don't think he'd appreciate you deafening me..." _He mumbled before yelling, "_Ryou! Get your fine white ass over here! Bakura wants bitch at you!" _There a distant yell, then, "_No you can't wait until you finish licking all the chocolate off of Yuugi! Get over here now!"_

Bakura raised an eyebrow at that, then turned to Yami, "Just you wait pharaoh, as soon as Ryou's done licking chocolate off Yuugi... your ass is as good as any other uke's!"

Yami's eyes widened, "Ryou's licking chocolate off my hikari?" He screeched. Marik and Bakura just exchanged glanced, then burst out laughing.

A few minutes later and, "_Hello? Bakura?_" Came Ryou's voice.

"Ask him why he's licking chocolate off my hikari!" Yami hissed.

"Hikari, Yami wants to know why your licking chocolate off Yuugi..."

_"Umm...hold on..." _Bakura could faintly hear Ryou asking Yuugi why he was licking chocolate off him, "_Yuugi says because it was there. And because chocolate is good. And to get it off him."_

"Yuugi says because it was there. And because chocolate is good. And to get it off him." Bakura told Yami, who scowled.

"Anyways, tell me, who's Uke?"

_"Malik's Seme and Yuugi's in the middle, I'm uke, just the way they like me!"_

"What? But...but..._how_ did you end up on the bottom? Yuugi's more submissive! And he's short too dammit!" Bakura whined, "And if your uke...then...then that means _I_ have to be uke too!"

"_Sorry Bakura...but you'd be surprised how wild Yuugi can get in bed!."_ Ryou laughed.

"I don't even want to know..." Bakura mumbled.

_"If it makes you feel any better, Yuugi is even seme sometimes! OW! Hey, Malik...what was that for?...They didn't need to know that?...-sniff- I'm sorry..." _There was a disturbing sound in the background...then, _"Oh god's...Malik...Ooh...don't stop..."_ Bakura's eyes widened and he quickly hung up.

Bakura threw the phone at the wall, effectively smashing it into about 40 pieces, then proceeded to pout. Marik put his arm around Bakura's waist, "So, I take it the Pharaoh is in the middle?" Marik said.

"Don't rub it in..."Bakura mumbled, then smirked, "But Ryou did say that sometimes Yuugi was seme! So ha! He could dominate over you at anytime!"

Marik's eyes widened, "You can't be serious... Yuugi... on top? Holy shit..."

"That's what I said..." They both glared at Yami, who was smirking triumphantly.

But they soon got over their pouting and such and for the rest of the night they had wild, hot sex. With Marik on top, Yami in the middle, and Bakura as uke, just the way they liked him! At least, until Yami and Marik started arguing over who got to be on top on their 3rd round...

And yes, they DID get around to making a show called "Yami's Gone Wild." It became the most popular show among the perverts and lonely old men of the world...


End file.
